Arrival of my first child : what nobody told me

This week, I have a guest post written by Emeline, 31 years old, who shares her feelings following the birth of her first child.

Please note that this article is not for the fainthearted (ie future moms, or men) unless you want to hear the truth that is being withheld from you (the truth is no longer out there, it’s here !).

Here is her post : Well nobody told me that My Good Lady !

“When I was pregnant with my first, I didn’t do any research. I never really read any books on preparing baby’s arrival, or breastfeeding advice and guidelines, nothing on what to expect during the first few months, education..etc.

No, I wanted to live it from day to day (and, let’s be honest, watch my shows).

Maybe that was a mistake on my part ? Or a way for me, big anxious stressed out girl, to avoid working myself up ? I don’t know…In any case I’m not sure those books would have prepared me for the chaos I was about to face. When you start putting theory into practice, it doesn’t always work out.

Of course, I did prepare myself for the bare minimum, let’s not be silly : I bought the furniture, the clothes, I knew how I wanted to feed this baby (breastfeeding for sure). I had my sister and friends who had had babies already, so I knew a little about their experience.

However I didn’t know that :

Once you had actually given birth, you were not on the mend just yet : you had to get patched up, and they had to press on your uterus for what felt like hours (and boy does it hurt !).

That the first time, post partum, that you need to go for a number 2 (the big one, not another baby), it feels as if you are literally going to die on the throne.

That you bleed for weeks on end, and that sometimes, a big blood clot gets out ! (you are welcome for the details).

That your breasts will become as hard as rocks after your milk comes in and it’s gonna hurt !

That your stomach doesn’t magically disappear, it’s still there and flappy.

That a baby only sleeps when he wants to.

That people would be asking you 12.569 times the annoying “does he sleep through the night ?” question (no Doris, he is just a week old !).

That a baby screams a lot, often and with passion for unknown reasons. And as a result you cry with him.

That your stupid hormones go berserk (and in my case, I know what I’m talking about).

That a trick that worked one day with the baby won’t work the next day.

That such a level of exhaustion was possible.

That sleep deprivation will make you go mad.

That breastfeeding is not as simple as you might think and that breasfeeding herbal tea tastes like soup (I hope you like fennel).

That people were going to ask you 4.000 times if “the baby is latching well ?”, “are you drinking 14 liters of water every day ?”, “do you have enough milk ?” (I don’t know, do you want to check ?).

That your libido also goes on maternity leave.

That you will receive 1 billion pieces of unwanted unsollicited advice.

That taking a shower will be considered an achievement.

That you were going to despise those who compare their kids to yours “my child only cries when he’s hungry or needs a change”, “he was already sleeping through the nights at the maternity hospital”, when you didn’t ask for it.

But most importantly, I did not know :

That you could ever love someone so much and so hard.”

I will reassure you, or not, by telling you that despite all this, Emeline now has two children. It just goes to show you that being a mom is also being a little masochistic. Or completely.

How about you ? Did you know all of it ?