10 things not to say after sex

So I guess the one excuse you picked out from my 14 excuses not to have sex did not work right. Fine, we can all have it once every couple months. Let’s play the game of annoying your partner. Another game to annoy people I love and that keeps the romance alive. Today it’s the Top 10 things not to say after sex to your husband. Let’s get right to it, shall we ?

1. Is it over ?

Sometimes a girl’s gotta know. But it’s not always the greatest compliment.

2. LOL

When it’s say out loud (see what I did there), it’s quite annoying.

3. Oh boy, it’s itching again !

Especially if you start adding gesture to it. Also refering to it as painful or swollen or hot : not the sexiest bed talk.

4. Ok so now you take the kids to school tomorrow morning.

That way he would really know who’s the boss. Although it could imply you had an agenda.

5. That was cute.

I do not believe qualifying it as cute is the best. An alternate bad one is : well that was something alright.

6. Can’t believe your dad and you are so much alike.

That can imply that you had sex with his dad or just that he physically looks like thim. But who wants to think about their parents after coitus ?

7. Oh man, I think I forgot to take my pill yesterday.

Then before you know it you start fantasizing on a possible child’s name. And how you will have to change the car, buy a new house…etc. This whole situation could end up freaking your dearest better half out. And might give you a panic attack later as well.

8. Don’t worry you’ll get it right next month.

So no hanky panky until then. Best you keep this to yourself, and use it as an opt-out for next week.

9. What was that ?

What just happened ? Could go either way, as a compliment, or as a severe criticism. Keeping your feelings or thoughts from your husband is always the way to go.