This is one big question that annoyed people frequently ask. We were once children, and today we have them. We can now fully appreciate and understand those strange looks we used to get from adults a few years ago when all we did was act cute and tell those adults (parents, aunts/uncles, parents’ friends that ended up no longer coming over afterwards surprisingly) to come play for the hundredth time.

We love having them, yet we cannot keep ourselves from losing our minds and be frequently annoyed by them ! Do you know why ? Why are children so annoying ?! I was able to get 3 seconds minutes to myself and had already found 3 reasons.

1. Because they are tiny lawyers.

And who likes a lawyer ?

I do not believe I have ever met a more determined and challenging person as my kid.

Always questioning me, asking the same question OVER and OVER, never believing the answer I give him. It’s like a torture technique.

Arguing about the littlest insignificant thing such as his sister breathing more air than him and how unfair it is, why did he have a bigger raisin than her, why did you set the house on fire mom.

If they don’t get it their way, you are going to hear about it until the Supreme Court is involved. They are bordeline tiny dictators.

Also the whining. I didn’t use to have such big whiners, the more the whinier nowadays. It’s like they get in a class action group and decide the best defense is whining.

2. Because they have obnoxious superpowers.

There are different types of superpowers a child can have. For instance, in my house, my 3 kids can be referred to as :

• Megaloud :

  The child that has the world’s loudest voice. He can also walk super loudly, like an elephant even sometimes it’s uncanny. This animal is heaviest on its feet in the wee hours of the morning or when the other animals are napping in the afternoon.

• The Triplicator :

  Those kids that triplicate themselves. Making you feel that there are for instance 9 of them when there are actually just 3.

• Supermessy :

  They can be found in any area of the house, the yard, the park, the school, the supermarket. You will recognize them by their messy face, or sticky hair, or the way the floor looks when they leave a room, the amount of vegetables or pasta underneath their seat or even in their onesie.

• The Hyper :

  What is this with the moving and running around all.the.time ? Beware and do not feed these children any sugar, or give them ventolin or cortisone, as they will probably turn into the Tazmanian devil, an upgrade in this superpower category.

• The Destroyer:

  Speaks for itself. They will destroy almost everything you own that is of value. They start with your body, then mind, then material things. They will break a lot of things. So better buy junk and not care about it for the next 20 years.

• Deafman :

  Have you ever noticed that when you ask your child a simple question, they never answer right away ? And they simply never answer when you tell them to go take a shower for example or do a chore, or pick up their useless toys that they never play with but just drop on the ground and leave there forever.

  Funnily enough, when they are babies it’s the opposite superpower : they can hear the lightest sound ! The sound you make when you are not breathing anymore while trying to leave their room quietly slithering, after they have been screaming for hours turning you deaf.

Rest assured that even if your child has superpowers, that does not necessarly make you a Super Mom. You are just a simple mom, and you should be happy about it.

If you recognize any of these superpowers and have tried to fight against them, chances are you are now the villain in fact. Welcome to the club.

3. Because they are all over the place.

They are everywhere and, by everywhere I mean :

• they are on you literally : when you meet new people, when you are trying to type, or text or watch something on a screen, when you are trying to have breakfast alone, drink a coffee.
• they are following you : when you go to the bathroom, in the shower, when you leave the house.
• they are in your back : when you try to clean, and when you turn around they have destroyed whatever cleaning progress you thought you had made. As I like to say “cleaning with a child is like brushing your teeth with Nutella”. What is the point.
• they are watching you : when you sleep, when you try to do something sneaky like eat a snack or a candy or abandon them.
• they are listening to you : when you are saying something you should not say but hope they will not hear because they never do when you talk to them (see above mentioned superpower).

Yet, after all this, we still have them. And the majority of us have more than one, despite knowing all this ! Why ?! I have no answer.

And in any case, right now, I cannot think about it any longer as my children are using their Hocus Pocus tricks hovering around me asking me what I am doing on the computer, how long will I be on it, can I have this candy, why are you packing your suitcase mom, how can you drink that grape juice so fast, why doesn’t it smell like grape juice…etc.