Don't be afraid of the Super Moms

For me, a Super Mom is a mom that manages to do every single thing and not complain ! She is my antonym in a way, me being “just” a simple mom (an annoyed mama or annoying mama depending on how you look at it). She is not a typical sancti-mommy because she will not always make you feel like a lesser mom, just a big lazy one.

In fact, Super Mom (who would rather be called Perfect Mom, to be differenciated with the other imperfect moms maybe ?) can be scary. She manages everything from the kids to the grocery shopping, to the house cleaning, her work perhaps, the house, the kids’ activities, the invitations, the family outings, the shool trips…This strange phenomenon, or dare I say plague, seems to spread. However, do not fear them or be tempted to join their club.

Where can she be found ?

Mostly at school. She is usually the first one to arrive, before the school doors even open, whether it be morning or afternoon. She often doesn’t work, but she has this je-ne-sais-quoi that will let you know that it is her choice for the rest of her life. Those who manage to also work are less likely to become super moms despite their wanting to be. There is always a guilty feeling hanging in.

What does she look like ?

The Super Mom almost has the cape and superhero mask while waiting outside the school (or the daycare center as they sometimes appear early on). Her smile never quite leaves her lips. She is always air kissing everyone, even the principal or the superintendent ! She seems better dressed than the Simple Mom although her choice can be surprising. If you are in a private school, you can rest assured she will manage to give you a piece of information on the sermon or Bible study.

In France, we have the tremendous joy of being allowed to take our kids back home for lunch. There is something close to a cafeteria but the meals can be expensive. It is not possible to bring your own homemade lunch. So, Super Mom never lets her kids eat there. She picks them up and has already set the table, made lunch, washed the dishes, and cleared the table before her children arrive. She will also volunteer to pick up and feed other children !

At the end of the day, she takes her kids to the park or other activities (here school finishes at 5pm). She has already planned her meals for a month. Her kids will be in bed by 8pm. She will go herself around 10, with her best-selling book (to read, she hasn’t written one…yet).

We all know at least one in real life. And way too many on Instagram. Overall they do seem nice, but we like to hate them from afar.

So…why not be a Super Mom ?

To this pertinent question, I will answer in three points :

They are not funny. There is really nothing funny about someone who is (or pretends) to be perfect ! In fact it can be annoying.
They are playing with fire and could…burnout. A burnout is a physical and mental exhaustion that typically concerns employees. But it is now entering our private lives, including parenting. Such as a perfectionist employee would do, the super mom will try to do everything, all the things, right, every time and all the time. It could lead to complete exhaustion and depression.
It is always better to watch someone else try and tire themselves out for us. At least if we failed something for some reason with our kids, we will always have the “I didn’t try hard enough” excuse !

How about the Simple Mom?

Well she’s me, maybe she’s you ? She has many different forms, in less extreme ways than Super Mom.

A example of a simple (Annoyed) Mama :

She has a hard time being on time, so being ahead of time…
She will probably have yelled at her kids in her car before arriving to school in the morning because she wasn’t perfectly organized and is now late. If she is not working, she feels guilty because she “has nothing else to do”.
She wears a uniform (mine is a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, chucks and a pony tail). Her makeup, which would usually take about 3 minutes to put on, may not have landed on her tired and shadowed eyes.
She doesn’t really know how or have time to smile. Air kiss those 5 moms constantly chatting in front of the school or talk about the weather with them will not excite her that much. Especially given the fact that she probably forgot to brush her teeth or put on deodorant.
She would quite enjoy not picking her kids up for lunch, but for some reason it cannot happen. Frequently she hasn’t even set the table or made lunch (it’s a 90 minute break including driving time).
After school, while driving her kids back home, she will already have screamed so loud that the police went to their room. She doesn’t have the strength to go to a park or a library. The idea of giving a bath to her kids gives her tachycardia. Dinner will consist of hot water in which she will either put pasta or vegetables if she hasn’t had time to go grocery shopping like she intended to.
She will drag her kids to bed at 9pm. Her tablet will not leave her side until 11:44pm (she will spend way too much time looking at Super Moms’ IG or Pinterest accounts). She will moan about going to bed too late. Again.

Truth be told, it may seem that the Simple Mom is just a lazy overwhelmed mom. But at least with her, you will laugh and feel so much better ! Despite not being super, she will just be normal. She will content herself with having Super Kids, and that ain’t so bad after all.