17 awesome ways to annoy your husband

He might be the father of your children, the light of your life, your high school sweetheart, your bestest of all friends. To you he is perfect.

But is he really ?

I would doubt that very much. UNLESS his name is Jack Pearson. But he’s already dead so…

Sometimes the Hubs drives me crazy, and he deserves to be pissed off. So I’ve compiled a list of awesome ways to annoy him and all of his “perfection”. Try them out, it can be fun to annoy someone and it’s Sunday FUNday.

1. Ask one of these questions :

They work wonders in keeping the spark alive. That spark is so alive in our house after this Q/A session that it could light up the whole town. Litterally.

He really appreciates when I take time to talk to him about something unrelated to our kids. It is also useful to see if he still thinks I’m super charming and funny or if we both need to give up on the jokes and sign those divorce papers.

• Why do you have to breathe so loudly ?
• Have you always chewed like that ?
• How come you look more and more like your mother ?
• Is that you snoring or is there a freaking earthquake ?
• Did your shirt shrink ?
• What’s that smell ? I know I’ve used a similar question when I wrote about the 14 excuses to avoid sex. I feel like I have to make it clear that he showers. We are not those gross French people that don’t shower.
• Where did all that hair go ? (while looking at old pictures)
• Are you sure you should be doing this like that ?
• Yeah, so ? (whenever he’s telling a story)
• Oh, you are really wearing this ?

2. Hide his phone or the remote.

And don’t answer when he asks where it is.

3. Unplug his phone when it’s charging.

4. Change his ringtone to a High School Musical song.

5. Wrinkle all the shirts in his closet before he goes to work.

6. Make a lot of noise, move things around when he’s trying to sleep.

7. Talk to him in a baby voice.

8. Talk over all the shows he likes to watch or ask dumb questions about them.

9. Read a book out loud next to him.

10. Talk on the phone next to him when he’s busy reading.

Follow him around if he dares to move.

11. Call his phone when he’s at work and hang up after 2 rings.

Dial over and over.

12. Don’t clean his underwear or socks for a week.

13. Stuff his briefcase with feminine products.

That way when he pulls out his computer at work some tampons fall on the ground.

14. Tell him he forgot to take the trash out when he’s in bed (when you already did it).

If he thinks you did, firmly deny it. Pretend you are sleeping when he comes back.

15. Look at him funny, and when he asks why you’re looking at him say you are not.

Do this repeatedly all day long.

16. Cut him off when he’s talking to say some unrelated boring story. Or just walk away.

17. Put your cold feet on his when you go to bed.

If he is not the least annoyed after this, well either he’s super chill or he’s just giving up.

Next post coming up : 5 ways to find the perfect divorce lawyer.